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2022年9月30日星期五

纽约三部曲

 三段扑朔迷离的侦探故事,保罗·奥斯特最受瞩目的经典之作 (保罗·奥斯特作品)

编辑推荐

★ 三段扑朔迷离的侦探故事,一部献给孤独的存在之书。

★ 美国当代文学巨匠保罗·奥斯特蕞受瞩目的经典之作,“就像卡夫卡迷上了侦察游戏,写下了不断回旋版本的自己”。

★ 哈罗德·布鲁姆盛赞:“三篇引人入胜的短篇小说,其巧妙迂回之处,令人困惑不已又为之倾倒。”

★美国当代蕞具创新性的小说家之一,美第奇文学奖、阿斯图里亚斯王子奖得主,村上春树、迈克尔·翁达杰、J.M.库切赞誉的作家——融合了荒诞主义、存在主义和悬疑小说等元素,“保罗;奥斯特是当代文学一个蕞为独特的声音”。(《纽约书评》)


内容简介

《纽约三部曲》由《玻璃城》《幽灵》和《锁闭的屋子》三部相互关联的非典型性侦探小说构成。推理小说家奎因,冒充一位名为保罗·奥斯特的侦探,接受了跟踪刚刚出狱的老斯蒂尔曼的委托,却在无形中继承了老人的遗志——发明一种与这个破碎的世界相应的全新语言;侦探布鲁,受雇于怀特,监视住在马路对面的作家布莱克,在日复一日的观察中,逐渐把自己变成了布莱克的镜像,并在无意中为布莱克写下了最后的自传;而“我”则意外继承了童年好友范肖的遗稿,以及他的遗孀和儿子,范肖作品的热销使“我”名利双收,但幸福生活的幻影很快就被一张来自“范肖”的纸条打破……作家与人物、真实与虚构、语言与实存,都在不断地互相置换,堪称解锁奥斯特内核的密码。

理想国:保罗•奥斯特作品

孤独及其所创造的

纽约三部曲

末世之城

在地图结束的地方

幻影书

布鲁克林的荒唐事

密室中的旅行

冬日笔记

4 3 2 1


作者简介


保罗·奥斯特(Paul Auster),1947年出生于新泽西的纽瓦克,著名小说家、诗人、剧作家、译者、电影导演,美国艺术与文学院院士,其作品融合了荒诞主义、存在主义和悬疑小说等元素,被视为美国当代*具创新性的小说家之一。奥斯特著作等身,代表作包括小说《纽约三部曲》《幻影书》《布鲁克林的荒唐事》《巨兽》,以及回忆录《孤独及其所创造的》,评论集《饥渴的艺术》等,曾获法国美第奇文学奖,西班牙阿斯图里亚斯王子文学奖,美国约翰·科林顿文学杰出贡献奖,并多次入围都柏林文学奖、布克奖、福克纳小说奖等,作品已被翻译成四十余种文字。他编剧的电影《烟》于1996年获得柏林电影节银熊奖和*佳编剧奖,2012年,他成为第*位纽约市文学荣誉奖的获得者。

文敏,记者,现居杭州,已出版译作十八种,包括《等待野蛮人》《男孩》《内陆深处》《凶年纪事》《密室中的旅行》等。


精彩书评

◎ 评论推荐

“奥斯特如臂使指地驾驭着读者对神秘事物的探究精神,使人们的好奇心从挖掘不法行为的过程,重新回归到纯粹的自我探索中。”——《纽约时报》

“就像卡夫卡迷上了侦察游戏,写下了不断回旋版本的自己。”——《华盛顿邮报》

“绝对值得一读,不可思议……奥斯特为现代文学——更重要的是——为我们对所身处世界的看法,拓展了新的维度。”——《波士顿环球报》

“令人兴奋……一位从来不满足于事实层面的作家,对讲故事的艺术的精妙探索。”——《费城询问报》


精彩书摘

他试图回想自己在这段经历之前的生活。要唤起这种回忆相当困难,因为,如今那些事情似乎离他很远。他记 得先前以威廉·威尔逊的笔名写的那些书。好奇怪啊,他想,他是这么做过,可现在他不知道当初为什么要那么做。在他的心里,他意识到马克斯·沃克已经死了。他在接手下一个案子的路上死于某处,奎因对此一点都不觉得遗憾。现在看来,所有的一切都无关紧要。他想起自己的写字台,他曾在那上面写过无数的文字。他回想那个曾是他的版权代理人的人,发觉自己根本记不起他的名字来了。那么多事情如今都已经消失了,很难追踪到它们。奎因试着回想大都会队的阵容,一个位置一个位置地想,但他脑子里开始恍惚起来。那个中场,他记得是莫凯·威尔逊,一个很有前途的年轻选手,他的真实姓名是威廉·威尔逊。无疑的,那里面有些事情肯定挺有意思。奎因想了一阵,但后来也拉倒了。两个威廉·威尔逊互相抵消掉了,仅此而已。奎因在心里向他们挥手道别。大都会队在最后一次赛事中将再次成为最后一名,没人会为此难过的。

下一次醒来时,太阳照进了房间。他身边的地板上摆着一盘食物,盘子里热气腾腾的像是烤牛肉饭。奎因淡定 地接受了这一事实。既不感到诧异也没觉得不妥。是的,他对自己说,这份食物很有可能就是留给我的。这食物怎么会跑到这里来,或者为什么要搁在这里,他一点也不好 奇。他甚至都没有想到离开这个房间,去公寓别处寻找答案。相反,他凑近些,细细地检查着盘中食物,发现除了两大块烤牛肉外,还有七颗小小的烤土豆、一盘芦笋、一个新鲜面包卷、一点沙拉、一罐红酒,还有作为甜点的一 块三角奶酪和一个梨。还有一方雪白的餐巾纸,工艺精良的银质餐具。奎因吃了些食物——或者说吃了一半,那已是他最大的胃口了。

吃完后,他开始在红色笔记本上写东西。他一直写到黑暗重新回到房间。天花板中央有一盏不起眼的灯具,门 边就是开关,但奎因根本不曾想过要使用这盏灯。过不了多久,他又睡着了。醒来时,阳光照进了房间,身边地板上又出现了盛食物的托盘。他尽可能多地吞咽下食物,然后又在红色笔记本上埋头书写。 这段时间里,他写的多半都是有关斯蒂尔曼案子的一些边缘性问题。比如,奎因想知道,为什么自己居然没费心查阅一下刊登斯蒂尔曼 1969 年被捕消息的报纸。他在想,他是不是把这个问题跟同一年的登月事件联系在一起了。他问自己,为什么要相信奥斯特所说的斯蒂尔曼已经死了。他试着想了想“蛋”这个词,写下这样的短语,如 : “一个好蛋”“他脸上的蛋”“下了一个蛋”“像两个蛋似的”。他想知道,如果他当时跟踪的是第二个斯蒂尔曼,而不是 第一个的话,结果会怎样。他问自己,为什么克里斯托弗,那个旅行者的保护圣徒,在 1969 年,也就是登月旅行的那一年,被教皇保罗取消了圣徒封号。他一直在想一个问题, 为什么堂吉诃德不直接写一部他喜欢的那种书——偏要自己去经历那些冒险故事呢。他想知道,为什么自己名字和堂吉诃德名字的首字母是一样的。他在想那个搬进他房间的姑娘和中央车站那个阅读他小说的姑娘是不是同一个人。他想知道,弗吉尼娅·斯蒂尔曼跟他失去联系后是否雇用了另外一个侦探。他问自己,为什么会相信了奥斯特所说的支票被打回了。他想到了彼得·斯蒂尔曼,想知道他有没有在他现在睡的房间里睡过觉。他想知道这个案子是真的结束了,还是只是自己不知何故已经不能继续研究下去了。 他不知道自己一生走过的足迹会绘成什么样的地图,拼成什么样的字形。天一黑,奎因就睡,天一亮,他就吃,然后在红色笔记本上写东西。他根本不知道每次间隔的时间有多长,因为他已经不再关心计数日夜或小时了。然而,在他看来,黑暗渐渐地多于白昼了,尽管一开始阳光占了优势,但光线变得越来越黯淡,越来越短促。最初,他把这归结于季节变化。秋分肯定已经过去了,也许冬至就要到了。但如果冬天已经来了,这个过程照理说应该已经开始逆转了 呀。奎因注意到黑暗还在持续吞噬着白昼的时间。对他来说,似乎吃东西和在红色笔记本上写字的时间越来越少了。最后,这段时间似乎已减至几分钟。比方说,一次,他刚吃完东西,发现剩下的时间只够往红色笔记本上写三句话。下一个白天时,他的时间只够写两句话。他开始不吃饭了,以便有时间能往红色笔记本上写字,只在实在支撑不下去时才吃东西。但时间还在继续缩减,只够他吞一两口食物,黑夜就降临了。他没有想过要用电灯,因为他早就忘记了那里有灯。

黑暗时间的增长,恰好与红色笔记本页数的减少保持一致。慢慢地,奎因写到了尽头。某种程度上,他意识到 自己写下的文字越多,他再也不能写的那一刻就来得越早。他开始认真斟酌字句,尽可能以最俭省的方式表达自己的意思。他后悔一开始在红色笔记本上浪费了那么多纸页,事实上,他对自己在斯蒂尔曼的案子上不厌其烦地花费了那么多笔墨感到遗憾。现在这案子已经被他远远地扔在脑后,他早就不再费心想这件事了。那曾是他生命中通往另外一个地方的桥梁,但现在他已经过来了,桥的意义也就不再存在了。奎因对自己也越来越不在意。他写星辰,写地球,写他对人类的希望。他感到自己的语言已经切断了与自己的联系,现在它们已经成了大千世界的一部分,真实而具体,就像一块石头、一片湖,或是一朵花。它们不再跟他有任何关系了。他想起自己出生的那一瞬间,以及他是如何从母亲子宫里被轻轻地娩出的。他想起这世界和所有那些他曾爱过的人的无限善意。除了所有这一切的美 好,什么都不重要。他想把这种感触接着写下去,但令人痛苦的是他知道这不可能。尽管如此,他还是试着鼓起勇气来面对这个红色笔记本的尽头。他不知道自己能不能用笔来书写,能不能代之以口述,用自己的声音充满黑暗,使言语渗入空气,穿入墙壁,遍及城市,即便光明永不再临。

红色笔记本上的最后一句话是:“当红色笔记本上无处可写时,那将会发生什么呢?”



20220930

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2022年9月28日星期三

管理的艺术【套装五册】(大师的管理课+管理就是搞定人+深度管理+有效管理的5大兵法+高情商管理)


 


大师的管理课

版权页

赞誉

前言 从故事中学习领导力智慧

序言 在分享故事中不断成长

第一部分 领导者的自我成长之旅

第二部分 领导者如何轻松影响他人

第三部分 领导者如何突破困境

编后记

尾声

致谢

管理就是搞定人

版权页

前言 “职场江湖”的心得

第一部分 “人力资源管理”就是“选对人”“用好人”和“育新人”

第二部分 执行力就是“干”“干完”和“干好”

第三部分 领导力就是“服人”又“服心”

第四部分 管理的极致与管理的中庸

深度管理

版权页

文前辅文

第一部分 深度管理

第二部分 用合适的人,实现更重要的结果

第三部分 激发团队获胜动力

第四部分 把握时机,乘胜追击

有效管理的5大兵法

版权页

推荐序

推荐序

序言

前言

第一章 领导者的使命和素质

第二章 企业的一体两面

第三章 企业的目标

第四章 如何管理一家企业?

第五章 拉卡拉的五行企业文化

第六章 五行文化之“金文化”:核心价值观

第七章 五行文化之“木文化”:十二条令

第八章 五行文化之“水文化”:四环方法论

第九章 五行文化之“火文化”:执行四步法

第十章 五行文化之“土文化”:领导力三要素

第十一章 总结:用文化管公司

附录 我的“三有”人才观

高情商管理

版权页

引子 被忽视的“常识”

第一章 绝不能忽视的管理细节——顾客信息

第二章 解开团队困局的死结——提升谈判力

第三章 团队训练的救命稻草——“角色扮演”

第四章 战略对,战术才能行——把握常识、客户和价值

第五章 下好项目的第一步棋——项目开局强调“一见钟情”

第六章 优秀的团队往往“有迹可循”——把握程序

第七章 高效的团队都这样搞定项目

第八章 领导力构建之法

后记 躲进小楼成一统




序言 在分享故事中不断成长

最强有力的学习,是通过经验发生的。虽然我们无法亲身体验所有需要学习的东西,但是我们可以通过其他人的经历学习。你的人生中可能已经有一些人参与了你的学习。《大师的管理课》的好处是,你有机会向领导力发展领域里过去50年中最知名的人士学习。


《大师的管理课》一共有八个主题,涵盖从困难或痛苦的情景中学习,到理解如何感知他人。所有的故事都呈现了作者的经历,以及他们从各自经历中所学到的,如何将这种学习融入生活中。无论是查尔斯·加菲尔德如何创造现实的例子,还是杰伊·加尔布雷斯面对和管理复杂情况的故事,每一个故事都是一次近距离体验他们的经历,以及从中汲取智慧的机会。每一位作者都在章节末尾附上了挑衅性的问题,让你有机会从这些经历中学习,并了解如何将这些经验应用到你的生活中。


这是一本针对个人、经理、领导者、教练和顾问的书,旨在发展自己的领导力和他人的优势。管理思想领导者在这里讲述的故事,包含了深刻的经验教训。许多经验教训是在课堂和工作之外学习到的,因为领导力的学习无处不在。正如故事所展示的,真正有效率的人从生活中学习,并将他们的经验教训用于不断成长。你会从他们的故事中发现非常个人化的学习和成长。


我们不能否认讲述故事的力量。在过去的时间里,商界领袖、培训师和顾问已经发现它是管理和领导不可或缺的工具。《财富》杂志、《快公司》《华尔街日报》和《哈佛商业评论》等商业刊物上有许多文章探讨了故事讲述在一些主题上的应用,诸如战略规划、领导力发展、企业传播、销售、学习和知识管理。


在个人和职业终身的发展中,故事是一种向他人学习的愉快方式。它在有经验的人和发现自己有类似情况的学习者之间建立了一种联系。当故事以非常私人的方式告知时,这种联系尤其显著。


本书中的许多故事将在个人层面上,使特定的个人产生共鸣,有些故事可以作为普遍的经验教训。


本书分为三个部分。每个故事都会简要地介绍,并伴随着一系列有助于深入探究课程和学习的问题。这些问题可以应用在团队建设中,作为自己探索的延续,也可以作为一群朋友的对话起源。将它们视为一种资源,一个起点,或者自己想法和创造力的跳板。我们希望它们能在你的学习历程中为你提供帮助,并且我们鼓励你使用故事分享知识,增进相互理解,建立更深刻的差异理解。


贝弗利·凯





20220928
https://www.aliyundrive.com/s/6NbZqzAK8vd
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高价值思维,如何向卓越人生靠近?

 

《高价值思维,如何向卓越人生靠近?》(全集7册)


(美)保罗·斯隆(Paul Sloane) (马来)维申·拉克雅礼(Vishen Lakhiani) (美)理查德·德威特(Richard DeWitt) (美)卡罗尔·卡特(Carol Carter) (美)莎拉·莱曼·克拉维茨(Sarah Lyman Kravits) (英)克里斯·佩利(Chris Paley) (加)兰迪·帕特森(Randy J.Paterson) (美)基思 R.麦克法兰(Keith R.McFarland) 著

李乐强 陈能顺 孙天 苗瑞 宋雨沁 程玥 王思策 方旭燕 张媛 江南 江维 译

套装书纸版由机械工业出版社出版,电子版由华章分社(北京华章图文信息有限公司,北京奥维博世图书发行有限公司)全球范围内制作与发行。



目录

像开创者一样思考:伟大思想者和创新者的76堂商业课

生而不凡:迈向卓越的10个颠覆性思维

世界观:现代人必须要懂的科学哲学和科学史(原书第2版)

如何成为面向未来的学习者(原书第7版)

潜意识与决策:泄露心思的无声告白

自信表达:如何在沟通中从容做自己

突破之道:从平庸走向卓越


20220928
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东野圭吾严选TOP10合集(刷完这10本才算略懂东野圭吾,秘密 白夜行 解忧杂货店 黎明之街 嫌疑人X的献身 恶意 新参者 放学后 红手指 谁杀了她)

 

总目录

秘密

白夜行

解忧杂货店

黎明之街

嫌疑人X的献身

恶意

新参者

放学后

红手指

谁杀了她



20220928
https://www.aliyundrive.com/s/6NbZqzAK8vd
提取码: 61cx
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2022年9月27日星期二

Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up)

 


Introduction

In this book, I have summed up how to put your space in order in a way that will change your life forever.


Impossible? A common response and not surprising, considering that almost everyone has experienced a rebound effect at least once, if not multiple times, after tidying.


Have you ever tidied madly, only to find that all too soon your home or workspace is cluttered again? If so, let me share with you the secret of success. Start by discarding. Then organize your space, thoroughly, completely, in one go. If you adopt this approach—the KonMari Method—you’ll never revert to clutter again.


Although this approach contradicts conventional wisdom, everyone who completes my private course has successfully kept their house in order—with unexpected results. Putting their house in order positively affects all other aspects of their lives, including work and family. Having devoted more than 80 percent of my life to this subject, I know that tidying can transform your life.


Does it still sound too good to be true? If your idea of tidying is getting rid of one unnecessary item a day or cleaning up your room a little at a time, then you are right. It won’t have much effect on your life. If you change your approach, however, tidying can have an immeasurable impact. In fact, that is what it means to put your house in order.


I started reading home and lifestyle magazines when I was five, and it was this that inspired me, from the age of fifteen, to undertake a serious study of tidying that led to my development of the KonMari Method (based on a combination of my first and last names). I am now a consultant and spend most of my days visiting homes and offices, giving hands-on advice to people who find it difficult to tidy, who tidy but suffer rebounds, or who want to tidy but don’t know where to start.


The number of things my clients have discarded, from clothes and undergarments to photos, pens, magazine clippings, and makeup samples, easily exceeds a million items. This is no exaggeration. I have assisted individual clients who have thrown out two hundred 45-liter garbage bags in one go.


From my exploration of the art of organizing and my experience helping messy people become tidy, there is one thing I can say with confidence: A dramatic reorganization of the home causes correspondingly dramatic changes in lifestyle and perspective. It is life transforming. I mean it. Here are just a few of the testimonies I receive on a daily basis from former clients.


After your course, I quit my job and launched my own business doing something I had dreamed of doing ever since I was a child.



Your course taught me to see what I really need and what I don’t. So I got a divorce. Now I feel much happier.



Someone I have been wanting to get in touch with recently contacted me.



I’m delighted to report that since cleaning up my apartment, I’ve been able to really increase my sales.



My husband and I are getting along much better.



I’m amazed to find that just throwing things away has changed me so much.



I finally succeeded in losing ten pounds.


My clients always sound so happy, and the results show that tidying has changed their way of thinking and their approach to life. In fact, it has changed their future. Why? This question is addressed in more detail throughout the book, but basically, when you put your house in order, you put your affairs and your past in order, too. As a result, you can see quite clearly what you need in life and what you don’t, and what you should and shouldn’t do.


I currently offer a course for clients in their homes and for company owners in their offices. These are all private, one-on-one consultations, but I have yet to run out of clients. There is currently a three-month waiting list, and I receive inquiries daily from people who have been introduced by a former client or who have heard about the course from someone else. I travel from one end of Japan to the other and sometimes even overseas. Tickets for one of my public talks for stay-at-home parents sold out overnight. There was a waiting list not only for cancellations but also for the waiting list. Yet my repeater rate is zero. From a business perspective, this would appear to be a fatal flaw. But what if my lack of repeaters was actually the secret to the popularity of my approach?


As I said at the beginning, people who use the KonMari Method never revert to clutter again. Because they can keep their space in order, they don’t need to come back for more lessons. I occasionally check in with graduates of my courses to see how they are doing. In almost every case, not only is their home or office still in order but they are continuing to improve their space. It is evident from the photographs they send that they have even fewer belongings than when they finished the course, and have acquired new curtains and furnishings. They are surrounded only by the things they love.


Why does my course transform people? Because my approach is not simply a technique. The act of tidying is a series of simple actions in which objects are moved from one place to another. It involves putting things away where they belong. This seems so simple that even a six-year-old should be able to do it. Yet most people can’t. A short time after tidying, their space is a disorganized mess. The cause is not lack of skills but rather lack of awareness and the inability to make tidying a regular habit. In other words, the root of the problem lies in the mind. Success is 90 percent dependent on our mind-set. Excluding the fortunate few to whom organizing comes naturally, if we do not address this aspect, rebound is inevitable no matter how much is discarded or how cleverly things are organized.


So how can you acquire the right kind of mind-set? There is just one way, and, paradoxically, it is by acquiring the right technique. Remember: the KonMari Method I describe in this book is not a mere set of rules on how to sort, organize, and put things away. It is a guide to acquiring the right mind-set for creating order and becoming a tidy person.


Of course, I can’t claim that all my students have perfected the art of tidying. Unfortunately, some had to stop for one reason or another before completing the course. And some quit because they expected me to do the work for them. As an organizing fanatic and professional, I can tell you right now that no matter how hard I try to organize another’s space, no matter how perfect a storage system I devise, I can never put someone else’s house in order in the true sense of the term. Why? Because a person’s awareness and perspective on his or her own lifestyle are far more important than any skill at sorting, storing, or whatever. Order is dependent on the extremely personal values of what a person wants to live with.


Most people would prefer to live in a clean and tidy space. Anyone who has managed to tidy even once will have wished to keep it that way. But many don’t believe it’s possible. They try out various approaches to tidying only to find that things soon return to “normal.” I am absolutely convinced, however, that everyone can keep his or her space in order.

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Headspace Guide to_. Mindfulness & Meditation_ 10 minutes can make all the difference

Introduction

It was already well past midnight. I sat on top of the wall and looked down. The tall pine trees from inside the grounds gave me plenty of cover in the darkness, yet I couldn’t resist the urge to look back one last time to see if I’d been followed. How had it come to this? I looked down again. It was just over 12 feet to the pavement. It may not sound that high but, crouching in a flimsy pair of sandals and my night clothes, the thought of jumping made me wince. What was I thinking wearing sandals? I’d tucked them into my trouser bottoms as I crept through the monastery, trying not to wake any of the other monks. I’d gone to the monastery to contemplate life, and yet here I was scaling its walls and contemplating my sandals as I prepared to jump back into the world.

It was never meant to be this way. I’d trained as a Buddhist monk before, and in much more challenging environments. But other monasteries had exuded a warmth, a kind and caring approach to what can only be described as a challenging, yet very fulfilling, way of life. This one had felt different though. It was a Buddhist monastery like no other. Locked in, day and night, surrounded by high stone walls and with no way of contacting anyone on the outside, at times it had felt more like a prison. I had no one to blame but myself of course, after all I’d gone there of my own free will. It’s just that traditionally monasticism is a little different from the Mafia. It’s not usually the case that once you become a monk, that’s it, for life, with no way out. In fact on the contrary, Buddhist monasteries are known and respected for their tolerance and compassion. So how I’d ended up doing a bunk over a 12-foot wall to get away from one was a mystery really.

It had all started a few years earlier, when I made the decision to pack up and head off to Asia to become a monk. I was at university at the time, studying Sports Science. It may sound like a dramatic change in lifestyle, but it felt like one of the easiest decisions I’d ever made. Understandably, my friends and family were slightly more apprehensive than I was, perhaps wondering if I’d finally lost my mind, but all of them were none the less supportive. It was a different story at university, however. On hearing the news, my head of year suggested that a trip to see the doctor for some Prozac might be a more sensible option. As well meaning as he might have been, I couldn’t help thinking he was missing the point. Did he really think I was going to find the type of happiness and fulfilment I was after in a bottle of prescription medicine? As I walked out the door of his office he said, ‘Andy, you’ll regret this decision for the rest of your life.’ As it turns out, it happens to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Now you may be wondering what kind of person suddenly decides one day to head off to Asia and become a Buddhist monk. Perhaps you’re imagining a ‘self-medicating’ student who’d lost his way, or a ‘creative type’ with the desire to rebel against a consumerist society. But the reality was actually far more mundane. At the time I just really struggled with my mind. Not in a straightjacket kind of way you understand, but I struggled with the endless thinking. It felt as if my mind was permanently switched on, going round and round like a washing machine. Some of the thoughts I liked. A lot of the thoughts I didn’t like. The same was true of the emotions. As if a ‘busy head’ wasn’t enough, I felt as though I was always drifting into unnecessary worry, frustration and sadness. They were quite ordinary levels of emotion, but they had a tendency to spin off out of control every now and then. And when they did, there was nothing I could do about it. It felt as though I was at the mercy of these feelings and would get blown around by them. On a good day, everything was fine. But on a bad day, it felt like my head would explode.

Given the strength of feeling, the desire to train the mind was never far from my thoughts. I had no idea how to do it properly, but I’d come into contact with meditation at a very early age and knew that it offered a potential solution. Now I wouldn’t want you to think that I was some kind of child prodigy, and spent my teenage years sitting cross-legged on the floor, because that’s most definitely not the case. I didn’t take up the full-time study of meditation until I was twenty-two, but my first moment of headspace that I experienced at the age of eleven most definitely became a marker for what was possible. I’d love to say that it was a yearning to understand the meaning of life that motivated me to sign up for that first meditation class, but the truth is I went because I didn’t want to feel left out. My parents had just separated and, looking for a way to cope, Mum had signed up for a six-week course. Seeing as my sister was going, I asked if I could go along too.

I guess I just got lucky the first time I tried it. I didn’t have any expectations, so couldn’t project any hopes or fears on the experience. Even at that age it’s hard to ignore the change in the quality of mind that meditation can bring about. I’m not sure I’d ever experienced a quiet mind before then. I’d certainly never sat still in one place for such a long period of time. The problem of course was when I didn’t get the same experience the next time I tried, or the time after that, I started to get very frustrated. In fact, it was as if the harder I tried to relax, the further I moved away from a place of relaxation. So this was how my meditation began, battling with my mind and getting increasingly frustrated.

 


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